Chronic Pain and Creation

So it has barely been over a month since my diagnosis so these are early thoughts, but I thought I would write about how my chronic pain condition (Fibromyalgia) affects my creativity.

For those unaware Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition that leads to chronic muscle and joint pain, fatigue, and trouble sleeping. It means things as simple as walking on some days is incredibly difficult and I need to use a cane, typing is difficult as my fingers ache and each joint/knuckle throbs with pain most days. I spend most of my days tired, clear thought is difficult and needs to be cultivated through rest, making sure I have eaten well and giving myself every advantage to have a chance to focus.

Since my diagnosis I have tried two medications, both sometimes used as antidepressants, and both in very small doses. Both of these have only added to the clouding of my mind, it feels so hard to clear my head and write or create. My thoughts come more sluggishly, I feel unmotivated and empty of inspiration. I don’t get excited for things as easily, and worst of all the pain is only slightly dulled. My creativity, something that to me is core to my existence, is being smothered for slightly less pain.

So if you start getting less posts it’s because of this struggle with my creativity and chronic pain management. I’m currently looking into options for pain management outside of medications in the hopes I can find a way to manage my pain without losing my creativity.

Late addition – I missed my meds a couple days and oh god I feel like shit, been more physically active this week than usual and dear god I am feeling it.

Also my pain is making me want to do more body horror to vent my suffering, so yeah that might be a thing.